Top 10 Potty Training Tips for Parents

So you’re excited to start potty training your little one, but before you start I wanted to share a few tips for you from my personal experience of potty training my two kids which you may find helpful. These tips will set you up for success. Use the Quick Links to jump to the section you’re interested in, or read the whole article in order.

Willingness & Awareness

There are two main things that need to happen for your little one to start successfully using the potty or the toilet.
The first is that they need to be aware that they need to go to the toilet and the second is that they need to be willing to use the potty or the toilet.

Awareness starts with knowing that they’re having a wee or a poo in their nappy and perhaps alerting you that something has happened. Some children retreat to a private corner of a room or lean on their favourite side table to have a bowel movement.

Willingness begins when they see you using the toilet and become curious about what you’re doing, so this isn’t the time to be shy about your toilet habits. Your wonderful child learned to walk because they could see all the adults and their siblings walking around on two legs – so
they wanted to have a go too. Toileting is just the same.
Children copy their parents and siblings in everything, it’s a natural instinct so take full advantage of it.

Before your kids are physically capable of using the potty, recognising that they need to go and willing to co-operate you might as well be trying to teach them how to service your car… you won’t be successful. So make sure everyone’s ready before you start.

Make Sure It's Fun

If you’re having fun, then they’re having fun too. Try to hide any frustration, and encourage them to try again next time. Smile, even though it may feel like it’s through gritted teeth, and keep that positive vibe alive.

Kids pick up on your energy more than you think, so if you’re feeling frustrated, you can bet they are too. Equally if you can project confidence that it’s going well, then they’ll believe they can do it.

Ensure They Can Pull Their Pants Up and Down

In the early days, clothes get in the way. Help them in the bathroom until they’re ready to do it themselves. A child that can’t easily undress enough to go to the toilet is likely to have more accidents near the toilet. But there’s something you can do to help them learn…

Over the next few weeks when you’re dressing and undressing your little one in their bedroom, encourage them to pull up their trousers or pants from knee level upwards. Then do the same for taking them down. They’ll find this easier if their pants / trousers are a size bigger than they need to be.

Once they’re doing this outside the bathroom, they’ll find it easier to get it done when they’re also dealing with the distracting urge to go pee.

Of course, running around naked is also an option in the summer.

Potty Train When They're Ready

I get so many questions from parents about problems with potty training when the timeline has been moved by the arrival of a new sibling, a holiday or moving house.

If they’re willing to potty training, and aware that they’re having a wee or a poo, then you’ll be successful regardless of outside factors. If you’re rushing them because there’s a baby on the way or a holiday coming up then they’ll push back and it won’t be fun for anyone.

Waiting until they’re ready sets them up for success and a positive experience of using the loo.

Make Sure They're Comfortable & Feel Safe on The Toilet

Dangling feet not only gives your child the feeling that they might fall into the toilet – they also make it really hard to control the pelvic floor muscles required to get the job done (pun intended).

Find a nice padded toilet seat that fits and doesn’t shift about when they’re sitting down and add a stool that they can place their feet flat upon whilst on the toilet.

Doing this ensures that your little one can sit comfortably on their throne whilst doing the deed.

Make Sure Your Child is Well Hydrated

There’s two amazing reasons to keep your child well hydrated:

The pelvic floor muscles aren’t just responsible for holding wee in and releasing it at the right time, they’re also involved in sending you that feeling that you need to go to the toilet.

A full, heavy bladder, strengthens the muscles that hold in the wee, shortening the amount of time it’ll take you to complete toilet training and increases the sensation of the need to go.

Separate Night time toilet Training from Daytime.

Nighttime dryness at the same time of toilet training is a myth. It’s perfectly fine to keep using nappies at night until you get to the point that the nappy is dry in the morning.

A great sign that this is starting to happen is that the nappy leaks – the volume of urine that comes out at the same time overwhelms the ability of the nappy to absorb it. When this starts to happen make sure you rise early enough to remove it as soon as they wake up and take your little one to the potty or the toilet if it is dry.

Children stop urinating at night spontaneously when their Vasopressin levels are high enough to suppress urine production whilst asleep. Before that hormone is produced, your child won’t be ready no matter what you do.

If you think your child is late being dry overnight, then consult your doctor. Most children are dry at night by around 5 years old.

Be Consistent With Nappies

Many children struggle with potty training when nappies are taken away, then given back for long car journeys or changes in routine.

This can be confusing and lengthens the amount of time it’ll take to complete the task.

If you’ve got a long journey coming up soon, then considering waiting until afterwards to start potty training because consistency is key.

Reward Success, provide encouragement when accidents happen

Charts and stickers are great motivators for potty training success. Children love to please their parents, especially if there’s a big reward like visiting their favourite playground just for doing their best.

Make every success and failure a positive experience… an opportunity to do better next time.

Perhaps they walked to the potty but didn’t get there in time – tell them you’re proud they tried to get there.

Make a Schedule of Bowel Movements

If you’re struggling to catch those poos in the potty, then you might want to try recording a schedule of when your child does a poo in relation to when they last ate. You’ll be surprised how consistent that routine is.

This assumes that bowel movements aren’t affected by medical issues. If your child experiences very runny poos or constipation then talk to your healthcare provider about what you can do about this before potty training.

Both my children weren’t able to tolerate milk until they were well into their primary years. The result was sore bottoms and poo-namis.

Dealing With Potty Training Refusal

The most common cause of potty training refusal is starting before they’re ready and insisting that it’s done.

If you’re experiencing tantrums and a barrage of “no” then the best thing to do is back off for a couple of weeks and try again later. Willingness is essential to success.

If the refusal has spread to other areas of home life, like eating, bathing and brushing teeth then try offering options that work for you either way to give them back a sense of control.

Here’s some examples:

“Would you like an apple or breadsticks for your snack?”
“Which book would you like me to read at bedtime?”
“Would you like a bath before or after dinner?”

This works for you either way, because the bath still gets done – but your child feels like they’ve had the option. Once the no’s subside you can return to potty training.

How Mrs Wee & Mr Poo Works

Perhaps you arrived at this article before buying the book, but this advice works whether you have or not: Above all, it’s about the fun – kids love to hear their parents say “poo” and “plop” – and there’s plenty of opportunity to say them whilst reading Mrs Wee & Mr Poo.

If you have bought the book then there is something behind every page. This book was originally written for my own kids, both now diagnosed with autism who had trouble with either the physical awareness of needing to go and the willingness to use the potty and the toilet, not that your child needs to be autistic to benefit from this story. I’ve had great feedback from parents of special needs kids and neurotypical kids alike.

The poem was designed to explain that Mrs Wee & Mr Poo live inside of you and love going on the toilet waterslide .

It also encourages them to recognise the feeling of Mrs Wee tickling their tummy trying to get out, and turns the whole thing into a positive and funny experience for all.

My children also struggled with the noise of flushing the toilet, but them cheering “Weeee!!!” at the same time as flushing seemed to cancel that out.

The poem is written in strict meter and rhyme, which makes it really easy for your child to memorise it, and soon you might find them pretending to read it out loud.

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Mrs Wee & Mr Poo

A Toilet Training Story

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